I know that we are now six weeks into the new year and this is a little late but like they say better late than never.
With each new other, people bring about the ability to have resolutions and the ability to change things. I have always made a list and over the course of the year that list has made me feel guilty because it is harder to stick by than I would have hoped. So this year, I decided to take another route and choose a word that I could apply to all areas of my life. I am hoping that this will become a tradition and that as I work on that area of my life I can focus on another one next year.
So I have decided that my word for 2013 will be Gentle. First and most obvious is to physically more Gentle. I am one of those that walks fast and goes down steps to fast, puts away dishes to fast right out of the dishwasher, and I drive too fast a lot of the time. I am always on the go and I seem to have to tell myself to slow down and take a deep breath. I can be too loud, I can speak my mind without thinking first, and I sometimes appear to be running around like a chicken with my head cut off, which Jason says leads to be losing things and he says that if my "tush" wasn't attached I would lose it too. Maybe my word will help me relax, speak softer, move, and be just all around more gentle.
I am determined to be more gentle with others, their feelings, and their circumstances. Between Liv and Morgan's different medical issues I need to be gentle. I need to be more gentle with people. I need to most definitely be more gentle with my kids. They are only kids, right??? I have a tendency to forget that they are only learning as they go and I am their guide. I can't my them to act like I would in every situation. I can't expect my home to remain clean and clutter free with a 11, 9, and 6 year old roaming around. Sometimes I have been known to grab and forcefully lead with them to their rooms more harshly than I should have. I most definitely need to be more gentle with their feelings and what's important to them in this stage of their lives. More than anything, I want to be more gentle in my words and actions with them.
I need to be more gentle with myself. I need to quit being so hard on myself. I have a tendency to criticize myself a great deal and my lack of certain inabilities and I don't thin that is helping me too much. I NEVER EVER thought I would compare myself to others the way I did in 2012. You could ask Jason how much I compared my parenting to others and he would probably tell you more than he cared to count. My kids will survive if I am not going all out on every holiday, event, or milestone. I am not as organized as I would like and if I never get as organized as I would hope, I am sure we would all survive. There are a lot of things I do right and a lot of things I don't. As long as I continue to try to work on those things that need improvement, that's all I can do. I am going to be more gentle with myself.
I could continue to go on and on about the ways that I need to apply this word...family, situations, finances, my body, but I am sure you get the idea. The point is that this is MY word for the year and I am going to try and apply to all facets of my life. I am grateful for the family and friends that love an support me. I am so grateful for a love from a heavenly father. I know that there is nothing that I can't accomplish with his help. Now I just need to get out there and do my best.