I know that we are now six weeks into the new year and this is a little late but like they say better late than never.
With each new other, people bring about the ability to have resolutions and the ability to change things. I have always made a list and over the course of the year that list has made me feel guilty because it is harder to stick by than I would have hoped. So this year, I decided to take another route and choose a word that I could apply to all areas of my life. I am hoping that this will become a tradition and that as I work on that area of my life I can focus on another one next year.
So I have decided that my word for 2013 will be Gentle. First and most obvious is to physically more Gentle. I am one of those that walks fast and goes down steps to fast, puts away dishes to fast right out of the dishwasher, and I drive too fast a lot of the time. I am always on the go and I seem to have to tell myself to slow down and take a deep breath. I can be too loud, I can speak my mind without thinking first, and I sometimes appear to be running around like a chicken with my head cut off, which Jason says leads to be losing things and he says that if my "tush" wasn't attached I would lose it too. Maybe my word will help me relax, speak softer, move, and be just all around more gentle.
I am determined to be more gentle with others, their feelings, and their circumstances. Between Liv and Morgan's different medical issues I need to be gentle. I need to be more gentle with people. I need to most definitely be more gentle with my kids. They are only kids, right??? I have a tendency to forget that they are only learning as they go and I am their guide. I can't my them to act like I would in every situation. I can't expect my home to remain clean and clutter free with a 11, 9, and 6 year old roaming around. Sometimes I have been known to grab and forcefully lead with them to their rooms more harshly than I should have. I most definitely need to be more gentle with their feelings and what's important to them in this stage of their lives. More than anything, I want to be more gentle in my words and actions with them.
I need to be more gentle with myself. I need to quit being so hard on myself. I have a tendency to criticize myself a great deal and my lack of certain inabilities and I don't thin that is helping me too much. I NEVER EVER thought I would compare myself to others the way I did in 2012. You could ask Jason how much I compared my parenting to others and he would probably tell you more than he cared to count. My kids will survive if I am not going all out on every holiday, event, or milestone. I am not as organized as I would like and if I never get as organized as I would hope, I am sure we would all survive. There are a lot of things I do right and a lot of things I don't. As long as I continue to try to work on those things that need improvement, that's all I can do. I am going to be more gentle with myself.
I could continue to go on and on about the ways that I need to apply this word...family, situations, finances, my body, but I am sure you get the idea. The point is that this is MY word for the year and I am going to try and apply to all facets of my life. I am grateful for the family and friends that love an support me. I am so grateful for a love from a heavenly father. I know that there is nothing that I can't accomplish with his help. Now I just need to get out there and do my best.
2.19.2013
Tifton Turnaround
This past weekend....Kerigan and our family along with my mother and Jason's parents headed to Tifton Georgia for what I call the Tifton Turnaround for the 6th Grade Statewide Honor Chorus. Kerigan was chosen as one of 4 from her school to represent Lovinggood Middle. She then made up one of 400 voices from across the state.
Kerigan, my mother, and myself all went down on Friday so that Kerigan could attend clinics all day before their actual performance on Saturday afternoon. Let me just say that there is ABSOLUTELY nothing to do in Tifton Georgia. Their mall consists of 4 stores and my mother and I visited Walmart 4 separate times.
However, the concert on Saturday was fantastic.
The 400 voices were split into 2 separate choirs of 200. Kerigan's leader, Darrin Dailey, had a great time and the kids loved him. The video below is the group singing a song in Swahili. It was my favorite song so I am sharing it with you.
Then they closed out the program with all 400 voices singing "I Hear America Singing" the other director Emily Floyd led the group with this song.
We had a wonderful time but it was such a quick trip that we were glad when we came back home. The pictures are of the four wonderful young ladies that got to attend and then with their chorus director
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Except to only wake up Sunday morning to our brand new furnace fan not working, so since then we have been living under blankets and with space heaters. We will be glad when that's fixed later today.
Finally, the weekend closed out with our best friend's sweet little baby girl being dedicated at the church. We were honored to be there for our friends and their family. If I had a picture on my computer you better believe she would be on here but all her sweet pictures are on my phone.
Kerigan, my mother, and myself all went down on Friday so that Kerigan could attend clinics all day before their actual performance on Saturday afternoon. Let me just say that there is ABSOLUTELY nothing to do in Tifton Georgia. Their mall consists of 4 stores and my mother and I visited Walmart 4 separate times.
However, the concert on Saturday was fantastic.
Then they closed out the program with all 400 voices singing "I Hear America Singing" the other director Emily Floyd led the group with this song.
We had a wonderful time but it was such a quick trip that we were glad when we came back home. The pictures are of the four wonderful young ladies that got to attend and then with their chorus director
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Finally, the weekend closed out with our best friend's sweet little baby girl being dedicated at the church. We were honored to be there for our friends and their family. If I had a picture on my computer you better believe she would be on here but all her sweet pictures are on my phone.
2.14.2013
Technology...good or bad
Technology can be a good thing and a bad thing. As a mother, I have a responsibly on teaching my girls how to control it rather than letting it control them. As a parent, I have been the best example. I find my phone or our iPad cradled in my hands when it would serve me better as a parent to be interacting with my girls or even Jason more.
Sure, it might be important in what I am working on or looking at but there is nothing more important than my gang.
Technology can take over your life and make you believe that it belongs wherever it is. My email list is always growing and never seems to go down. Text messages, Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter can truly take over your entire life including displaying things that I am just not ready for the girls to be exposed to.
It is wonderful and amazing part of life (especially since I can remember how life was before it all came about). It amazes me that I can stay in contact with my friends from all over the world but still lose myself in it when my family is in the same room with me.
It is difficult to be with my girls whether it be in the same room, same house, or even the car and they are in the own little world--their own little "cyber world". Human conversation seems to be getting put on the back burner of everyone's world more and more everyday.
Just as I was worrying about how the girls were interacting with Jason and I, each other, and others around them, I was reading one of the regular blogs (here) when she stated that she and her husband had developed a technology contract for their five children. She had gotten the idea from another mother who issued a phone contract to her son when he got a phone for Christmas (it was all over the TV, I am sure you have heard). So I read her contract to her children and made a few adjustments to accommodate our family. Jason and I each read over and handed to the older girls just last night and let them ask us questions. Now a side note is....my girls don't have phones yet we have simply noticed that they are engrossed in their ipods, and other technology so we thought it best to make this contract for our family before it even begin to mix in phones.
Below is that contract, it is rather long but I believe as we all get used to it, it will serve our family well.
Dear Children,
You are proud owners of technology we never dreamed of having when we were your age! You are good and responsible and we WANT you to have these things.
But as with many things in your life, as your parents, we feel the need to present some rules and regulations because we adore you. We have been around a little longer than you have. We have seen the marvels of all this great technology and we are so grateful for it! But we have also noticed a gradual decline of old fashioned communication that we feel is so very important for your spirit and your general development. So we’d like to introduce you to some rules and regulations we are establishing in our home.
Please read through the following contract. We hope that you understand it is our job to raise you into well-rounded, healthy young individuals that can function in the world and coexist with technology, not be ruled by it. You may be mad at us for a while about some of these things. You have enjoyed some great technological freedom which you have not abused and we are proud of for that, But we feel the need to train you (as we train ourselves) to not let technology take over in our family and in our lives.
Failure to comply with the following list will result in termination of your technology freedom.
We love you with all our hearts and look forward to sharing several million text messages with you in years to come.
It is our hope that you can agree to these terms. Most of the lessons listed here do not just apply to devices, but to life in general. You are growing up in a fast and ever changing world. It is exciting and enticing. Trust your powerful mind and giant heart above any machine.
We love you forever
Love, Mom and Dad
We were presented with many questions and many but moms after reading it but the communication between us all was great. The goal is to have all of us sign this contract and stick with it as a way of improving our family. My parents and Jason's parents had plenty of issues to deal with when we were growing up but our generation was handed another whole set of issues when technology was thrown into the mix and it is our goal for my girls to remember that there is nothing better than being a human to someone and not letting the technology that's at their fingertips to change them.
Sure, it might be important in what I am working on or looking at but there is nothing more important than my gang.
Technology can take over your life and make you believe that it belongs wherever it is. My email list is always growing and never seems to go down. Text messages, Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter can truly take over your entire life including displaying things that I am just not ready for the girls to be exposed to.
It is wonderful and amazing part of life (especially since I can remember how life was before it all came about). It amazes me that I can stay in contact with my friends from all over the world but still lose myself in it when my family is in the same room with me.
It is difficult to be with my girls whether it be in the same room, same house, or even the car and they are in the own little world--their own little "cyber world". Human conversation seems to be getting put on the back burner of everyone's world more and more everyday.
Just as I was worrying about how the girls were interacting with Jason and I, each other, and others around them, I was reading one of the regular blogs (here) when she stated that she and her husband had developed a technology contract for their five children. She had gotten the idea from another mother who issued a phone contract to her son when he got a phone for Christmas (it was all over the TV, I am sure you have heard). So I read her contract to her children and made a few adjustments to accommodate our family. Jason and I each read over and handed to the older girls just last night and let them ask us questions. Now a side note is....my girls don't have phones yet we have simply noticed that they are engrossed in their ipods, and other technology so we thought it best to make this contract for our family before it even begin to mix in phones.
Below is that contract, it is rather long but I believe as we all get used to it, it will serve our family well.
Dear Children,
You are proud owners of technology we never dreamed of having when we were your age! You are good and responsible and we WANT you to have these things.
But as with many things in your life, as your parents, we feel the need to present some rules and regulations because we adore you. We have been around a little longer than you have. We have seen the marvels of all this great technology and we are so grateful for it! But we have also noticed a gradual decline of old fashioned communication that we feel is so very important for your spirit and your general development. So we’d like to introduce you to some rules and regulations we are establishing in our home.
Please read through the following contract. We hope that you understand it is our job to raise you into well-rounded, healthy young individuals that can function in the world and coexist with technology, not be ruled by it. You may be mad at us for a while about some of these things. You have enjoyed some great technological freedom which you have not abused and we are proud of for that, But we feel the need to train you (as we train ourselves) to not let technology take over in our family and in our lives.
Failure to comply with the following list will result in termination of your technology freedom.
We love you with all our hearts and look forward to sharing several million text messages with you in years to come.
- Any device (iPod, itouch, DS, computer) in our home is a family device. We, your parents, have bought these things. We pay for them. We are loaning them to you with the understanding that you will act responsibly.
- If you choose to put a password on your devices, we will always know the password
- Do not ever ignore a text if the screen reads “mom” or “dad”. Not ever (even when you have actual phones)
- Hand your devices to one of your parents promptly at either your bedtime or 9:00pm (whichever comes first) every school night and every weekend night by 10:30pm. It will be shut off for the night and turned on again before you leave for school. If you would not make a call to someone’s landline after a certain time then you do not text either. Listen to those instincts and respect other families like we would like to be respected.
- Although it is ok to take the device to school with you, realize that is mostly so that we can get a hold of you if we need you. Pay attention to your teachers. Work on assignments. Fill your brains with knowledge. At school, it must be turned off at lunch. Have a conversation with the people you text in person. It is a life skill.
- If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs. Stash some birthday cash, help family members with extra jobs, etc. It will happen you should be prepared.
- Do not text, email, or say anything through the devices you would not say in person out loud, with your friends’ parents in the room. Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others. Censor yourself.
- At this point in the game, we reserve the right to be the only ones to give you license to any new apps, Please let us know if you want something new and why. We love to discuss these things with you, and we mostly trust your judgment.
- If you have access to the web, search it only for information you would openly share with us. If you have a question about anything, ask a person—preferably us…we know more than you think we do.
- Turn it off, silence it, put it away in public. Especially in a restaurant, at the movies, or while speaking to another human being, you are not a rude person; do not allow your device to change that.
- Do not take inappropriate pictures of yourself or others. Remember first and foremost that in our family we seek after goodness and want to shine our light to others. Remember also that cyberspace is vast and more powerful than you. Be careful what you put there. And it is hard to make anything of this magnitude disappear—including a bad reputation or hurt feelings.
- Leave your phone home sometimes and feel safe and secure in that decision. It is not alive or an extension of you. Learn to live without it. Be bigger and more powerful than FOMO—fear of missing out.
- In addition to the music you love, download music that is new or classic or different from what your peers listen to. Your generation has access to music like never before in history. Take advantage of that gift, Expand your horizons.
- Play a game with words or puzzles or brainteasers every now and then
- Keep your eyes up. See the world happening around you. Stare out a window. Listen to the birds. Take a walk. Talk to someone new. Wonder without googling.
- After school you are mine for at least fifteen minutes. Tell me three things about your day before thinking about looking at a screen.
- Most importantly, remember your spirit is the most important thing you have. Don’t let this privilege cramp your wonderful spirit. Don’t ever let technology seep into your relationship with your Heavenly Father. The noise of technology is quick to make us all think looking at a screen is more important than talking, especially to our Heavenly Father. Make it a practice to pray and ask God to be with you before you check your instagram or texts in the morning.
- You will mess up. We will take your devices away. We will sit down and talk about it. We will start over again. We are always learning. We are on your team. We are in this together
It is our hope that you can agree to these terms. Most of the lessons listed here do not just apply to devices, but to life in general. You are growing up in a fast and ever changing world. It is exciting and enticing. Trust your powerful mind and giant heart above any machine.
We love you forever
Love, Mom and Dad
We were presented with many questions and many but moms after reading it but the communication between us all was great. The goal is to have all of us sign this contract and stick with it as a way of improving our family. My parents and Jason's parents had plenty of issues to deal with when we were growing up but our generation was handed another whole set of issues when technology was thrown into the mix and it is our goal for my girls to remember that there is nothing better than being a human to someone and not letting the technology that's at their fingertips to change them.
2.10.2013
Opening up...
If you have followed our blog for any period of time most of you know that Miss M (aka baby girl) has Type 1 Diabetes. Every day is a different day and most days have new situations that come along with the territory. There is no black and white to Diabetes. You have to be willing to take the good with the bad. There are a lot of grey areas with Diabetes.
However, when we were thrown a new health curve in August with Miss L (aka middle thang) I didn't think I would survive it. For 6 weeks from August 22 to around the first week of October were the most trying and some days I just didn't think we as a family would survive. Miss L has always been a worrier, in fact, our pediatrician said she noticed but really hoped that she would grow out of it. Well, our world was thrown into a tale spin when she was diagnosed Social Anxiety. I can't begin to tell you how overwhelmed our family became.
We went from having a child that loved going to school and enjoyed being around friends to a child that had to be carried into school either over her dad's shoulders kicking and screaming or having to have both the principal and assistant principals work together to get her into the building. She made threats of doing harm to herself. She also constantly worried about her daddy and I being killed or dying in a fire. Needless to say it was a very long battle, most times Jason and I thought we were fighting the battle by ourselves. We let a few in on what was happening in our world but it was not an easy time. At times, I felt like I had lost all faith and would never survive. I told our pediatrician (a God send of a precious woman) that I thought Diabetes was hard until I started fighting this battle.
With the help of our pediatrician, a wonderful psychologist and psychiatrist all of whom I would recommend if you are in our local area. An awesome school support staff that fought the fight everyday with us. We began to see a change December. Yes, she is on daily medications and will be until at least May. We believe that it was triggered by hormone changes at this point with a little of being overwhelmed because this is the first school year that she hasn't been in school with her older sister. Some days are still rough days but those only seem to be at home, she is in school regularly and making fabulous grades.
So while the last six months have been a battle everyday life is getting better and I am grateful for the learning curve that has been thrown our way.
However, when we were thrown a new health curve in August with Miss L (aka middle thang) I didn't think I would survive it. For 6 weeks from August 22 to around the first week of October were the most trying and some days I just didn't think we as a family would survive. Miss L has always been a worrier, in fact, our pediatrician said she noticed but really hoped that she would grow out of it. Well, our world was thrown into a tale spin when she was diagnosed Social Anxiety. I can't begin to tell you how overwhelmed our family became.
We went from having a child that loved going to school and enjoyed being around friends to a child that had to be carried into school either over her dad's shoulders kicking and screaming or having to have both the principal and assistant principals work together to get her into the building. She made threats of doing harm to herself. She also constantly worried about her daddy and I being killed or dying in a fire. Needless to say it was a very long battle, most times Jason and I thought we were fighting the battle by ourselves. We let a few in on what was happening in our world but it was not an easy time. At times, I felt like I had lost all faith and would never survive. I told our pediatrician (a God send of a precious woman) that I thought Diabetes was hard until I started fighting this battle.
With the help of our pediatrician, a wonderful psychologist and psychiatrist all of whom I would recommend if you are in our local area. An awesome school support staff that fought the fight everyday with us. We began to see a change December. Yes, she is on daily medications and will be until at least May. We believe that it was triggered by hormone changes at this point with a little of being overwhelmed because this is the first school year that she hasn't been in school with her older sister. Some days are still rough days but those only seem to be at home, she is in school regularly and making fabulous grades.
So while the last six months have been a battle everyday life is getting better and I am grateful for the learning curve that has been thrown our way.
2.01.2013
New month, new goals, and changing things up
It's a new month. Can you believe it were already into the second month of 2013. I have been wanting to put a lot of time into this blog so that my girls will have a memories to look back on and do it the right way, I think I am going to have to just start a new blog. So it's coming. Watch for it.
12.15.2012
10.07.2012
The Wonders of Life
SUNDAY, OCTOBER 7, 2012
6.02.2012
Monthly Menu Planning
I started this in May. I thought I'd try to get organized with meal planning. I decided to try planning for the entire month, instead of doing it week to week. I loved it so much, that I've continued it. Because let's be honest, with a family of 5 it just gets tiring to have to always be thinking "what's for dinner tonight?".
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{most of these meals are from pinterest and other blogs I have found. I can send anyone a link or recipe if you want it)
So, I am going to share with you my June calender. I must warn you, some of these recipes are new to me so if they aren't good, it's not may fault :). I will also put an asterisk by our family favorites - my plan is to possibly plan and freeze for July we shall see. With the new job and working 2-3 days a week anything is helpful.
How do I plan?
- I allow for 2 nights of eating out per month
- I try to vary chicken, beef, and fish recipes
- we try to only eat one beef recipe a week and only one pasta dish a week
Here is my June calender:
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June dates:
1. Taco Soup*
2. last minute we decided to go eat Chick Fil A
3. leftovers or Chicken Salad
4. Taco Stuffed Shells
5. Goulash*
6. Chicken and Broccoli Stir Fry (Crock Pot and new one this month)
7. Turkey Burgers
8. out
9. left open because it's Mimi's birthday. No telling what we're doing
10. Chicken Tender Salads
11. Roast (Crock Pot)*
12. Jason's Birthday Surprise---kids with grandparents
13. Roasted Chicken (crock Pot)*
14. Cheesy Chicken Rolls
15. Pork Chops (Grill)
16. Pasta Bake
17. Dinner at Mimi and Papa's (Father's Day)
18. Jason's meal choice---HIS birthday
19. Pinterest Pork (new this month)
20. Chicken Lasagna*
21. Stroganoff
22. Eating Out
23. Mexican Chicken (grill)
24. Hamburgers/Hot Dogs--Morgan's choice---HER birthday
25. Lemon Chicken* (crock pot)
26, Papa's birthday---no telling what we will be doing
27. Chicken and Spinach Pasta Bake (new this month)
28, Tilapia
29, Spaghetti
30, pork with oranges
This month has alot of open dates but with Birthday's and Father's day everything in our family is crazy
{most of these meals are from pinterest and other blogs I have found. I can send anyone a link or recipe if you want it)
And THAT'S how we do dinner/meal planning around here! I must admit, it's terribly stressful and lots of work for the first few days of the month, but after that - I never have to think about "what's for dinner tonight?" and to me, that makes it all worth it!
4.21.2012
Countdown to May
May is a very busy month for our family and it hasn't even started yet. It is so big that I plan to document as much as possible right here to remember it all. We have softball tournaments, 5th grade activities that I don't want to ever forget especially for Miss K's sake, a HUGE graduation for this blogger right here. I have been in college on and off since 1997 and to know that I am graduating in 18 days is a wonderful dream come true. However, the main reason I am letting you know about our May is because I have decided that it is time to get healthy. I have been slacking and I am sure that traveling to school 4-6 times a week hasn't helped but now it is time to start taking care of myself. I can't be a great mom and wife if I am not healthy. I also want to show my girls that taking care of themselves is top priority. I have a program that I am going to follow and I am trying to get all of the stuff I want to do in order so this is the perfect week to do it. I hope you will follow m on my journey. I will do weekly weigh in and monthly picture updates. I know that the first pictures will be rough but it has got to be rough before it can be good. See you all in 10 days. Let the new me countdown begin.
3.13.2012
Party decorating begins
So we are 3 days away from the big party. I hope and think all the decorations and most of the supplies have been bought.
However, I started with the centerpiece. This is how it looked in the beginning and how it looked in the end. Miss L is going to love it.
However, I started with the centerpiece. This is how it looked in the beginning and how it looked in the end. Miss L is going to love it.
2.14.2012
Valentines 2011
I guess you could say we have been celebrating Valentines for over a week now.
It started on Saturday the 4th when the girls and Jason went to daddy daughter date night at our Chick Fil A.
Then we celebrated my morher's birthday on the 7th. Sorry no pictures were taken.
Then it was daddy daughter dance at church on the 10th.
Then we put together valentine boxes (forgot to take a picture of miss m and miss k's) and valentines ( sorry for the glare on the picture...took it with my phone) and then we made a sweet treat for miss m's class.
Hope everyone enjoys the day of love.
It started on Saturday the 4th when the girls and Jason went to daddy daughter date night at our Chick Fil A.
Then we celebrated my morher's birthday on the 7th. Sorry no pictures were taken.
Then it was daddy daughter dance at church on the 10th.
Then we put together valentine boxes (forgot to take a picture of miss m and miss k's) and valentines ( sorry for the glare on the picture...took it with my phone) and then we made a sweet treat for miss m's class.
Hope everyone enjoys the day of love.
1.05.2012
2012 Organize project 1
First things first: I *borrowed* Tiffany's whole mail station setup from The Nest Effect. I just loved it so much and couldn't think of another way to handle my mail situation. Thanks so much for the inspiration Tiffany! (If you haven't visited her blog, you have to. It's amazing!)
I am calling this 2012 Organize Project 1 because it's the first one this year and it is on my desk in our office. Since we are a family of five, trying to save money, me trying to finish school this semester, and having 3 girls with busy schedules I knew we needed an organized area for our stuff. With the new year I wanted to get everybody organized more effectively. I hate for my counters and kitchen to be covered by the messes of the stuff that has to be taken care of. We got 2 trays in the Target Dollar section one to put on Jason's desk for incoming mail and one to put on mine for the girls to put the stuff I need to look at on my desk. However, we still needed somewhere to put the rest of the stuff that comes in and out of our house. Such as receipts, coupons, recipes, etc.
Process:
This morning I decided to head down to the basement and get the black box that was patiently waiting to be loved on and gathered any extra hanging holders we had around the house.
I created my own calendars for the rest of the year with calendar labs. I use Bic Mark It Markers to give for everyone a color code to correspond to something that belongs to them. I use almost the exact same color in my erin condren planner but with the papermate flair pens because those don't bleed through the pages.
After:
The categories I used were:
The finished project in it's final location....along with the tray and my planner
woo hoo to one completed project
I am calling this 2012 Organize Project 1 because it's the first one this year and it is on my desk in our office. Since we are a family of five, trying to save money, me trying to finish school this semester, and having 3 girls with busy schedules I knew we needed an organized area for our stuff. With the new year I wanted to get everybody organized more effectively. I hate for my counters and kitchen to be covered by the messes of the stuff that has to be taken care of. We got 2 trays in the Target Dollar section one to put on Jason's desk for incoming mail and one to put on mine for the girls to put the stuff I need to look at on my desk. However, we still needed somewhere to put the rest of the stuff that comes in and out of our house. Such as receipts, coupons, recipes, etc.
Process:
This morning I decided to head down to the basement and get the black box that was patiently waiting to be loved on and gathered any extra hanging holders we had around the house.
I created my own calendars for the rest of the year with calendar labs. I use Bic Mark It Markers to give for everyone a color code to correspond to something that belongs to them. I use almost the exact same color in my erin condren planner but with the papermate flair pens because those don't bleed through the pages.
After:
The categories I used were:
- outgoing mail: holds things that need to be mailed out, but need attention before mailing
- to file: items that need to be filed in my filing cart or put away elsewhere
- receipts: incoming receipts that need to be filed
- coupons: unclipped coupons (printed and from the newspaper)
- grocery ads: finally, a place for the grocery ads -- I always find a way to misplace them
- recipes: I print and clip way too many recipes, so they can sit in this folder until I can take the time to put them where they belong in my recipe binders
- Kerigan: items for her
- Liv: Items for her
- Morgan: items for her
- JDRF: (not pictured) we raise money during the year and get newsletters for our walks each year so anything pertaining to that goes here.
The finished project in it's final location....along with the tray and my planner
woo hoo to one completed project
12.31.2011
Goodbye 2011
To say the least...this year has been one of the better ones for the Hodgepodge. However, I am looking forward to what 2012 brings to us. I can't wait to share the events of the year with you and I hope you will continue to visit us.
12.25.2011
12.12.2011
Could I really be thankful...I just might
I am thankful for diabetes.
Yes, you read it right. I am.
Even though we've been having good times and bad times lately (most of those bad times are at school...go flippin figure)..... I'm still thankful.
And I'll tell you why...
But first, I've got to say that it's not easy for me to say that. In fact, I struggle with it quite a bit. It's really HARD for me to come to terms with being thankful for D.... because of Miss M.
It's hard for me to say that I'm thankful for a disease that brings her so much pain and frustration and anger.
It's hard to me to say that I'm thankful for a disease that she will live with forever. Without EVER getting a break.
It's hard for me to say that I'm thankful for a disease that could cause her horrible complications.
It's hard for me to say that I'm thankful for a disease that could take her life. Not in years. Not when she's old and gray. But right now.
It's hard for me to say it. Because I don't always feel it. In fact, I HATE diabetes some of the time. I hate what it does to her. I hate what it can do to her.
In a way, I feel guilty for saying I'm thankful for diabetes because I'm not the one living with the disease in my body.
Being thankful for diabetes forces me to be able to hold conflicting feelings, polar opposites, in fact, in my head at the same time. I hate this disease. I hate what it does to Miss M and I hate what it's taken from her and from us. And yet, I am also thankful for the lessons it's taught us and the things it's brought into our lives.
It would be so much easier if it was just ME with this crap disease. It would be so much better if it was ME with the bum pancreas. If we could keep all the wonderful but spare HER from all the bad. I wish it WAS me. I'd give anything to take this disease from her. (I won't go there - that's another post for another day...)
But it's not me.
And it's not going away.
No matter how much I hate it. No matter how much I wish it gone.
Miss M has diabetes. Nothing can change that.
And that only focusing on the parts of this disease that suck (and oh, boy - there are a lot!) isn't going to get us anywhere. In fact, it's only going to make us all miserable. And it's not going to teach her the attitude that I hope she adopts for looking at life in general.
(Side note - It's not all rainbows and sunshine all the time. And it's ok to say it. But it's also not all storm clouds!)
So, the only thing to do is be THANKFUL for the good parts of life with diabetes!
I love the saying that diabetes is the best club that no one ever wanted to join! It's so true. None of us asked for this life. In fact, we would probably all give it back if we could. But since we can't....
I am so thankful for the incredible people I've met through this disease. The list is crazy long !
I've met so many incredibly supportive people online and most them don't even know me but their words encourage me. I love being able to go online to facebook or twitter or blogs and read about other people living this crazy life. I love being able to throw out a question - from how many carbs are in a Kraft Mac and Cheese to HELP! I need tips on keeping bg up when she's puking! I love the support and love I've found. I love knowing that I'm not alone. And Miss M is not alone.
I also must include the amazing endocrinology team at VanMeter Endocrinology! I would have never met these folks (duh) without diabetes. And I'm glad I did. They love us. They love Miss M. They support us. They stand by us. They help us with the most important thing in our lives - keeping our little girl healthy - both physically AND emotionally. Because BOTH are important to them. We are so blessed to have them!
Can't forget about the fantastic folks at JDRF - both locally and nationally. Again - all of them are pretty darn amazing. I've had the honor of being part of our chapter board and through that I've been able to meet others who are serving our local chapter - and you know what? A large number of the folks on our board don't have diabetes and don't have a child with diabetes. They just care. They ride bikes for 100 miles in Death Valley just because they care. They spend Saturdays at Walks and hours and hours of planning and preparation. Because they care. And that includes the folks with a D connection, too. They all care. They are willing to give of themselves and their time because it's important. Not just for themselves personally - but for all of us.
The same goes for the National folks. The people that I work with in Advocacy are awesome! They spend hours fighting for our cause. And not just because it's a job. You can tell when someone does something because it's "just a job". These people do what they do because they care.
Miss M has met all KINDS of people she would have never met! She has a whole group of friends that she would NEVER know otherwise. And these are friends who "get" her in a way that no one else can. They provide "SAME" for her just like my D Mama's provide "SAME" for me. And that bond is special. It's different from what she has with her best friend that does NOT have D. It's something she would not experience otherwise.
And you know what? It's not just kids. There are a couple of adults who really connect with Miss M and she with them. That connection is important to her - almost more so than having friends her own age. She sees in them her future. And it's a GOOD future. A HOPEFUL future. And she would not experience a relationship like that without diabetes. To them, THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. You may not know what it means to Miss M or to us the time that you take to send a quick note. But it means a lot. She looks up to you. In a way that she needs - and a way that J and I can't really provide for her. She needs those positive role models. You are special to her. And to us. She needs you! And so do we!
Gosh - the PEOPLE! I could go on forever just about the incredible people D has put into our lives.
But it's more than that...
I have learned to look for the beauty in the small things. I have learned to appreciate the good days and the good moments in a way that I don't think we ever would have without diabetes. Diabetes has changed our outlook on life. We know that the rain is going fall. But we also know that it will stop. Eventually. And that there is beauty in both places.
I've learned that I am NOT in control. I do not like this. But it's true.
I have learned that I am stronger than I ever imagined.
My daughter may have to grow up faster than I would have liked, but she, too, will learn that she is incredibly strong. That fear and pain will not break her. They will only add to her toughness. And she is tough. Small - but mighty.
I have learned that I am braver than I ever thought possible. And so is my little girl. She, too, will learn that she is a brave person.
I have learned what true PASSION is.
I have learned that I can make a difference. Not just in my house or my life or my neighborhood - but in the world.
I have learned what is really important. I don't get caught up in petty squabbles. Don't worry about if I'm wearing the latest trend Diabetes has broadened my view.
I have learned to be more empathetic. When someone is having a hard day or a is rude in a store - I now wonder what might be going on to make them behave that way. You just never know... Maybe they are tired because they were up all night treating lows. Maybe they have prescriptions to fill and no money.
My family is closer. D can make you or it can break you. Unfortunately, I know too many families where D has added to the stress so much so that things fall apart. So I am grateful that not only has this not happened to us - that it has done the opposite. We are a team. We rely on each other. We fight for each other. We stand together.
I spend more time with my daughter than I might have otherwise. D forces me to hang out at play dates and practices. It makes me a normal classroom visitor and a constant field trip companion. At times this can be frustrating. But it also affords me the opportunity to see my child in situations that I might not otherwise. It lets me experience special things with her. And it helps us form an even tighter bond.
D has also forced me to accept help. I don't like asking for help. I still am working on this and will still rarely ASK unless I'm desperate. But... I HAVE to accept help from others when she is in their care at school. I have been forced to ask for accommodations and special things because of diabetes. And that is not a bad thing. It's an uncomfortable thing for me - it humbles me. But that is not bad.
Diabetes has totally changed my life. It has totally changed my family's life and most importantly, my daughter's life.
I have no idea what our life would be like without diabetes. I often find myself worrying about whether the other girls will get D also. They both show small signs of it but currently test as not having them. I just can't fathom living life without diabetes...
Yeah, I would totally give it back if I could.
But I wouldn't trade the GOOD things about diabetes for anything.
Diabetes has made me a better person.
And it's made - and is going to continue to make - my daughter the most amazing, incredible person I've ever met!
Yes, you read it right. I am.
Even though we've been having good times and bad times lately (most of those bad times are at school...go flippin figure)..... I'm still thankful.
And I'll tell you why...
But first, I've got to say that it's not easy for me to say that. In fact, I struggle with it quite a bit. It's really HARD for me to come to terms with being thankful for D.... because of Miss M.
It's hard for me to say that I'm thankful for a disease that brings her so much pain and frustration and anger.
It's hard to me to say that I'm thankful for a disease that she will live with forever. Without EVER getting a break.
It's hard for me to say that I'm thankful for a disease that could cause her horrible complications.
It's hard for me to say that I'm thankful for a disease that could take her life. Not in years. Not when she's old and gray. But right now.
It's hard for me to say it. Because I don't always feel it. In fact, I HATE diabetes some of the time. I hate what it does to her. I hate what it can do to her.
In a way, I feel guilty for saying I'm thankful for diabetes because I'm not the one living with the disease in my body.
Being thankful for diabetes forces me to be able to hold conflicting feelings, polar opposites, in fact, in my head at the same time. I hate this disease. I hate what it does to Miss M and I hate what it's taken from her and from us. And yet, I am also thankful for the lessons it's taught us and the things it's brought into our lives.
It would be so much easier if it was just ME with this crap disease. It would be so much better if it was ME with the bum pancreas. If we could keep all the wonderful but spare HER from all the bad. I wish it WAS me. I'd give anything to take this disease from her. (I won't go there - that's another post for another day...)
But it's not me.
And it's not going away.
No matter how much I hate it. No matter how much I wish it gone.
Miss M has diabetes. Nothing can change that.
And that only focusing on the parts of this disease that suck (and oh, boy - there are a lot!) isn't going to get us anywhere. In fact, it's only going to make us all miserable. And it's not going to teach her the attitude that I hope she adopts for looking at life in general.
(Side note - It's not all rainbows and sunshine all the time. And it's ok to say it. But it's also not all storm clouds!)
So, the only thing to do is be THANKFUL for the good parts of life with diabetes!
I love the saying that diabetes is the best club that no one ever wanted to join! It's so true. None of us asked for this life. In fact, we would probably all give it back if we could. But since we can't....
I am so thankful for the incredible people I've met through this disease. The list is crazy long !
I've met so many incredibly supportive people online and most them don't even know me but their words encourage me. I love being able to go online to facebook or twitter or blogs and read about other people living this crazy life. I love being able to throw out a question - from how many carbs are in a Kraft Mac and Cheese to HELP! I need tips on keeping bg up when she's puking! I love the support and love I've found. I love knowing that I'm not alone. And Miss M is not alone.
I also must include the amazing endocrinology team at VanMeter Endocrinology! I would have never met these folks (duh) without diabetes. And I'm glad I did. They love us. They love Miss M. They support us. They stand by us. They help us with the most important thing in our lives - keeping our little girl healthy - both physically AND emotionally. Because BOTH are important to them. We are so blessed to have them!
Can't forget about the fantastic folks at JDRF - both locally and nationally. Again - all of them are pretty darn amazing. I've had the honor of being part of our chapter board and through that I've been able to meet others who are serving our local chapter - and you know what? A large number of the folks on our board don't have diabetes and don't have a child with diabetes. They just care. They ride bikes for 100 miles in Death Valley just because they care. They spend Saturdays at Walks and hours and hours of planning and preparation. Because they care. And that includes the folks with a D connection, too. They all care. They are willing to give of themselves and their time because it's important. Not just for themselves personally - but for all of us.
The same goes for the National folks. The people that I work with in Advocacy are awesome! They spend hours fighting for our cause. And not just because it's a job. You can tell when someone does something because it's "just a job". These people do what they do because they care.
Miss M has met all KINDS of people she would have never met! She has a whole group of friends that she would NEVER know otherwise. And these are friends who "get" her in a way that no one else can. They provide "SAME" for her just like my D Mama's provide "SAME" for me. And that bond is special. It's different from what she has with her best friend that does NOT have D. It's something she would not experience otherwise.
And you know what? It's not just kids. There are a couple of adults who really connect with Miss M and she with them. That connection is important to her - almost more so than having friends her own age. She sees in them her future. And it's a GOOD future. A HOPEFUL future. And she would not experience a relationship like that without diabetes. To them, THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. You may not know what it means to Miss M or to us the time that you take to send a quick note. But it means a lot. She looks up to you. In a way that she needs - and a way that J and I can't really provide for her. She needs those positive role models. You are special to her. And to us. She needs you! And so do we!
Gosh - the PEOPLE! I could go on forever just about the incredible people D has put into our lives.
But it's more than that...
I have learned to look for the beauty in the small things. I have learned to appreciate the good days and the good moments in a way that I don't think we ever would have without diabetes. Diabetes has changed our outlook on life. We know that the rain is going fall. But we also know that it will stop. Eventually. And that there is beauty in both places.
I've learned that I am NOT in control. I do not like this. But it's true.
I have learned that I am stronger than I ever imagined.
My daughter may have to grow up faster than I would have liked, but she, too, will learn that she is incredibly strong. That fear and pain will not break her. They will only add to her toughness. And she is tough. Small - but mighty.
I have learned that I am braver than I ever thought possible. And so is my little girl. She, too, will learn that she is a brave person.
I have learned what true PASSION is.
I have learned that I can make a difference. Not just in my house or my life or my neighborhood - but in the world.
I have learned what is really important. I don't get caught up in petty squabbles. Don't worry about if I'm wearing the latest trend Diabetes has broadened my view.
I have learned to be more empathetic. When someone is having a hard day or a is rude in a store - I now wonder what might be going on to make them behave that way. You just never know... Maybe they are tired because they were up all night treating lows. Maybe they have prescriptions to fill and no money.
My family is closer. D can make you or it can break you. Unfortunately, I know too many families where D has added to the stress so much so that things fall apart. So I am grateful that not only has this not happened to us - that it has done the opposite. We are a team. We rely on each other. We fight for each other. We stand together.
I spend more time with my daughter than I might have otherwise. D forces me to hang out at play dates and practices. It makes me a normal classroom visitor and a constant field trip companion. At times this can be frustrating. But it also affords me the opportunity to see my child in situations that I might not otherwise. It lets me experience special things with her. And it helps us form an even tighter bond.
D has also forced me to accept help. I don't like asking for help. I still am working on this and will still rarely ASK unless I'm desperate. But... I HAVE to accept help from others when she is in their care at school. I have been forced to ask for accommodations and special things because of diabetes. And that is not a bad thing. It's an uncomfortable thing for me - it humbles me. But that is not bad.
Diabetes has totally changed my life. It has totally changed my family's life and most importantly, my daughter's life.
I have no idea what our life would be like without diabetes. I often find myself worrying about whether the other girls will get D also. They both show small signs of it but currently test as not having them. I just can't fathom living life without diabetes...
Yeah, I would totally give it back if I could.
But I wouldn't trade the GOOD things about diabetes for anything.
Diabetes has made me a better person.
And it's made - and is going to continue to make - my daughter the most amazing, incredible person I've ever met!
12.01.2011
Not your typical Anniversary story
My life is like puzzle pieces.
There's so much going on.
There are pieces for normal household tasks: hanging up clothes, cleaning the toilet, doing the dishes, making dinner, dusting, vacuuming, yadda, yadda, yadda.
There are pieces for being a mom: bathing the child, doing her hair, laying out clothes, supervising the teeth brushing, putting her to bed, fixing her food, playing with her, spending time with her, reading to her.....
There are pieces for being a wife: actually TALKING to my husband, spending time with him, date nights (what is that?!?)....
There are pieces for being a college students: claases to attend, papers to write, books to read, and tests to study for, blah, blah, blah...
There are pieces for relationships: spending time with parents, spending time with friends, listening, talking.....
There are pieces for ME: reading a book - for fun, exercising, watching what I eat, getting enough sleep, taking a shower, doing my hair....
And then.....
There's diabetes. Ugh.
There are pieces for carb counting, basal rates, carb ratios, ISF, IOB, when to change the pump site, trend information, ketones, sick days, glycemic index....
And when you put all those pieces together?
Well, it's SUPPOSED to make a beautiful picture.
But I can't figure it out. All I see are pieces. I can't figure out how they are supposed to all fit together.
And today it hit me.
It's because I have TOO MANY PIECES.
HOW am I supposed to be able to make my pieces into a picture if I have too many pieces?
Something has to give.
The outside pieces are the non-negotiable ones. The things you HAVE to do.
Like shower (at least occasionally!). Take care of your child. Work. Maintain a relationship with your hubby.
The inside pieces are the ones where you have a little more wiggle room.
Before D entered our lives, my puzzle fit. It was a little tight at times. Or so I thought back then.... but I made it work. The pieces fit together nicely.
And now....
Well, D entered our lives exactly three years ago today, and took over those outside piece spots. Above everything else, D became the HAVE TO in our lives.
Think about that for a minute. One day you wake up and your priorities have been TOTALLY reorganized. What once was important, what you once considered a MUST DO, MUST HAVE... is not an outside piece any longer.
And the NEW outside pieces? They are do or die. You might have thought you HAD to shower every day. But now you realize that no.... you really don't HAVE TO. You HAVE TO count carbs. You HAVE TO administer the correct amount of insulin. You HAVE TO .... because if you don't .... well, it's do or die.
So D took over the outside pieces. Taking care of your child in the other, normal ways are still there. Work is still there. Family is still there....
But SOME of those pieces.... SOME of those details have been shoved into the middle. And there's just not enough space for all the pieces.
At least not all at the same time.
So what do you do? What gives?
For me, over the past three years, what has "given" has been ME. Taking care of myself. Exercising. Eating healthy. I've been too tired to care.
I'll be honest... time with my hubby has "given", too. The concept of date night is laughable anymore. We RARELY spend time alone. And after she goes to bed? We're too tired. It's not uncommon for us to not talk about anything but who's doing what and diabetes related things for days.
This is not good.
I know I'm not alone in this.
But if I make these things a priority, then what is going to give?
How do you make it fit?
For me, this aspect of D has been very humbling. I've always prided myself on being a go-getter, a do-it-all and do-it-all-well kind of person. I DO NOT LIKE admitting that I can't. I don't like not being able to give it ALL 100%.
But I can't.
I have tried, and tried, and tried. But I can't get all the pieces to fit.
The only thing left to do is sit down and really THINK about my picture. What do I want this picture to look like? And then decide what pieces MUST there to make it all fit together the way it should.
I wish this was a post where I could fill you in on the secret at the end. Where I could tell you what works for me. What I've figured out. What I've learned.
But I can't.
Cuz I don't know. I don't know what the secret is.
I don't know how to get all the puzzle pieces to fit.
But I'm determined to figure it out. I just may have to get out the scissors to make it happen.
There's so much going on.
There are pieces for normal household tasks: hanging up clothes, cleaning the toilet, doing the dishes, making dinner, dusting, vacuuming, yadda, yadda, yadda.
There are pieces for being a mom: bathing the child, doing her hair, laying out clothes, supervising the teeth brushing, putting her to bed, fixing her food, playing with her, spending time with her, reading to her.....
There are pieces for being a wife: actually TALKING to my husband, spending time with him, date nights (what is that?!?)....
There are pieces for being a college students: claases to attend, papers to write, books to read, and tests to study for, blah, blah, blah...
There are pieces for relationships: spending time with parents, spending time with friends, listening, talking.....
There are pieces for ME: reading a book - for fun, exercising, watching what I eat, getting enough sleep, taking a shower, doing my hair....
And then.....
There's diabetes. Ugh.
There are pieces for carb counting, basal rates, carb ratios, ISF, IOB, when to change the pump site, trend information, ketones, sick days, glycemic index....
And when you put all those pieces together?
Well, it's SUPPOSED to make a beautiful picture.
But I can't figure it out. All I see are pieces. I can't figure out how they are supposed to all fit together.
And today it hit me.
It's because I have TOO MANY PIECES.
HOW am I supposed to be able to make my pieces into a picture if I have too many pieces?
Something has to give.
The outside pieces are the non-negotiable ones. The things you HAVE to do.
Like shower (at least occasionally!). Take care of your child. Work. Maintain a relationship with your hubby.
The inside pieces are the ones where you have a little more wiggle room.
Before D entered our lives, my puzzle fit. It was a little tight at times. Or so I thought back then.... but I made it work. The pieces fit together nicely.
And now....
Well, D entered our lives exactly three years ago today, and took over those outside piece spots. Above everything else, D became the HAVE TO in our lives.
Think about that for a minute. One day you wake up and your priorities have been TOTALLY reorganized. What once was important, what you once considered a MUST DO, MUST HAVE... is not an outside piece any longer.
And the NEW outside pieces? They are do or die. You might have thought you HAD to shower every day. But now you realize that no.... you really don't HAVE TO. You HAVE TO count carbs. You HAVE TO administer the correct amount of insulin. You HAVE TO .... because if you don't .... well, it's do or die.
So D took over the outside pieces. Taking care of your child in the other, normal ways are still there. Work is still there. Family is still there....
But SOME of those pieces.... SOME of those details have been shoved into the middle. And there's just not enough space for all the pieces.
At least not all at the same time.
So what do you do? What gives?
For me, over the past three years, what has "given" has been ME. Taking care of myself. Exercising. Eating healthy. I've been too tired to care.
I'll be honest... time with my hubby has "given", too. The concept of date night is laughable anymore. We RARELY spend time alone. And after she goes to bed? We're too tired. It's not uncommon for us to not talk about anything but who's doing what and diabetes related things for days.
This is not good.
I know I'm not alone in this.
But if I make these things a priority, then what is going to give?
How do you make it fit?
For me, this aspect of D has been very humbling. I've always prided myself on being a go-getter, a do-it-all and do-it-all-well kind of person. I DO NOT LIKE admitting that I can't. I don't like not being able to give it ALL 100%.
But I can't.
I have tried, and tried, and tried. But I can't get all the pieces to fit.
The only thing left to do is sit down and really THINK about my picture. What do I want this picture to look like? And then decide what pieces MUST there to make it all fit together the way it should.
I wish this was a post where I could fill you in on the secret at the end. Where I could tell you what works for me. What I've figured out. What I've learned.
But I can't.
Cuz I don't know. I don't know what the secret is.
I don't know how to get all the puzzle pieces to fit.
But I'm determined to figure it out. I just may have to get out the scissors to make it happen.
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